The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in Europen country from 2004 to 2018
The line graph below provides the weekly hospital admissions for five medical centers, Forthmith, Adlin, Stanton, Bardley, Oxley over a 14 years period from 2004 to 2018 in a Europan country.
Overall, it is evident that, Bardley encountred the most fundamental rise in admissions, while Oxley displayed a slight decline. Forthmith and Adlin had a small oscillation.
In 2004,Oxley accounted the highest number of entrances at 250 per week. Furthermore , this figure decreased significantly over time, increasing just 50 by 2018. On the other hand, Bardley, steadily raised from 200 in 2004 to nearly 280 by 2018, bettering all other medical centers by the end of the period.
Adlin witnessed a declined gradually, starting at 150 in 2004, and finishing at 120 in 2018.Fortsmith noticed slight changes, fluctuating between 200 and 250 admissions weekly. Meanwhile, Stanton consistently recorded around 100 admissions per week, making it the most stable hospital among the five.
The essay presents information in a logical order, but some sentences lack clear connections.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
- Use consistent terminology for clarity.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitions.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings.
The essay addresses the task but lacks some precise details and contains inaccuracies.
Suggestions
- Include specific data points for clarity.
- Ensure all information is accurate and reflects the graph.
- Avoid vague terms and use precise language.