The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in Europen country from 2004 to 2018
The line graph compares five hospitals in a European country in terms of the entrance of hospital between 2004 and 2018.
Overall, it is clear from the graph that five hospitals experienced different trends in the time period. While, the hospital admission in Bardley and Adlin rose with the same fluctuation. However, the entrance of hospital in Forsmith and Oxtey saw fluctuated slightly.
As the graph shows, Bardley figure started at 200 admission of hospital followed by small decrease to 240 entrance in 2014. Then, it increased gradually from nearly 260 for decades. Regarding Adlin rose with the same fluctuation. It stood at from 150 admissions until 2010 then it saw fluctuate slightly from 250. Stanton hospital witnessed fluctuated wildly over the period. It started at nearly 120 admission, then begun at 160.
By contrast, entrance of hospital in Oxtey saw a decrease gradually from 250 to around 100 admission between 2004 and 2018. Even it started at 250 admission before it decrease. Forsmith hospital entrance witnessed on slight increase in 2010. Afterward, the figure levelled of over the 6 years.
The essay lacks clear organization and logical progression. Transitions between ideas are abrupt, and there is a lack of clarity in describing trends.
Suggestions
- Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
- Ensure logical progression of ideas.
- Use appropriate linking words to connect sentences.
The essay uses basic vocabulary with occasional errors in word choice. Some phrases are repetitive and lack precision.
Frequent grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures hinder readability. Some sentences are fragmented or incomplete.
The essay attempts to describe the graph but lacks detailed analysis and accurate representation of data. Some trends are incorrectly described.
Suggestions
- Provide accurate data points and trends from the graph.
- Include more detailed analysis of each hospital’s trend.
- Ensure that all data is correctly interpreted from the graph.