The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
The line graph illustrates how many foreigners visiting a coast,mountains and lake in a country in Europe throughout the 20-year period, starting from 1987. Overall, despite drastic climbs and falls, all three places increased the figure for tourists.
Focusing on the coast and the lake, the former dominated the chart with 40,000, and the latter was the least attractive with just over 10,000 visitors. Because of a sudden drop in the popularity of the coast and the growth in the lake’s popularity, the numbers were almost equalled, at around 30,000. The lake overrun the coast in 2002 with 75,000, which is 15,000 more than the coast. However, in the final year, the figures were about 53,000 and 70,000 for the lake and the coast, respectively.
As for the mountains, it started with approximately 20,000 tourists and kept steady. By 1997, the quantity of tourists increased to under 30,000. After a 7,000-fall the next 5 years, the figure returned to its highest peak.
The essay presents information in a logical order, but some details are unclear or slightly disorganized.
Suggestions
- Clarify comparisons between the areas.
- Ensure logical flow between sentences.
- Use more linking words for better cohesion.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are inappropriate or repetitive.
The essay shows a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors in sentence structure and punctuation.
The essay addresses the task and includes relevant information, but lacks some detail and clarity.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific data points.
- Include a clearer overview of trends.