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The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007

The line graph illustrates the number of foreign tourists to three separate regions in a nation in Europe from 1987 to 2007.
In general , the quantity of non-resident visitors to the coast and the lakes showed a dramatic rise while the mountains’ figure grew steadily during the two decades.
In the first instance , 40,000 foreign travalers visited the seaside in 1987, and it was the highest number on the graph, while the quantity of people who went to the lakes was the least(10,000). Until the third millenium both of them experienced growth however the amount of visitors from abroad who went to the lakes overtook the seaside’s figure . 2 years later the total of foreign visitors who traveled to the Lakes presented peak with approximately 75,000, subsequently its numbers showed a significant drop to 50,000 at the end of the period, while the figure for international guests of seaside highlighted constant surge and regained first position with roughly 75,000 visitors.
As for the next category, at the beginning the amount of the non-residents who visited the area of the mountains was 20,000 and increased slightly over the 20 years. In 2007, number of guests was nearly 35,000 . In conclusion, this figure was at a minimum when the period ended

6.0

The essay presents information in a logical order, but the use of linking words and cohesive devices could be improved. Some sentences are lengthy and could be broken down for clarity.

Suggestions
  • Use more linking words to improve flow.
  • Avoid overly long sentences.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.

The vocabulary used is appropriate but somewhat repetitive. There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but some words are used inaccurately.

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are grammatical errors that affect clarity.

The essay addresses the task and describes the main trends and changes. However, it could include more specific data points and comparisons.

Suggestions
  • Include more specific data points for clarity.
  • Make more direct comparisons between the areas.