The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shop that opened in one county between 2011 and 2018
The line graph shows the number of shop closures and new shop openings in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Overall, while new shop openings were high at the beginning of the period, shop closures became more frequent by the end. The number of new shop openings generally declined over time, while shop closures fluctuated but remained high.
New shop openings started at 9,800 in 2011, followed by a steady decrease to 4,000. In the next two years, the number increased considerably from 4,000 to 6,000. The figure then declined to 4,000 again in 2015. The number of new shop openings remained more or less unchanged for three years and gradually decreased to 3,000 by the end of 2018.
Shop closures, however, began at 6,500 in 2011 and showed considerable fluctuations. After a slight drop to 5,800 in 2013, the number rose sharply, reaching a peak of 7,100 in 2014. It then fell significantly to 5,000 in 2015, which was the lowest point during the period. Afterward, shop closures gradually increased to 6,200 in 2016 and remained relatively stable until 2018.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good balance between paragraphs.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words to show more variety.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic usage. The vocabulary is used appropriately with only minor errors.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The information is accurately selected and effectively compares the data.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all data points are accurately reported and clearly connected to the overall trend.