The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018
The line graph shows number of shop closures and new shop openings in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Overall, while new shop openings was high at the begining of the period, shop closures become more frequent by the end. The amount of new shop openings generally decreased over time, while shop closures fluctuated but stayed high.
New shop openings start at 9,800 in 2011, followed by a steadily decrease to 4,000. In the next two years, the number rised considerably from 4,000 to 6,000. The figure then droped to 4,000 again in 2015. The number of new shop openings stay more or less same for three years and slowly decreased to 3,000 by the end of 2018.
Shop closures, however, starts at 6,500 in 2011 and showed big fluctuations. After a small drop to 5,800 in 2013, the number increased a lot, reaching a peak of 7,100 in 2014. It then fell sharply to 5,000 in 2015, which was the lowest point during the period. After this, shop closures increased to 6,200 in 2016 and did not change much until 2018.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good range of linking words. However, there are a few instances where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic. Avoid mixing information about shop openings and closures in the same sentence. This will make the report easier to follow.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay makes use of a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is a good level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb tense and subject-verb agreement.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The information is accurately selected and effectively compares the data provided.
Suggestions
- Make sure to read the task instructions carefully to ensure that you have accurately interpreted them.