The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018
The line graph illustrates the number of closed stores and newly opened stores in a particular area from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, both categories experienced a decline, but the decrease in newly opened stores was significantly more pronounced compared to the modest reduction in closures.
Between 2011 and 2018, there was a consistent decline in the number of shop closures, with a drop recorded almost every year. In 2011, approximately 6,300 store owners closed their businesses; however, there was little change in this figure the following year. By 2013, the number of closed shops peaked at around 7,000, after which there was a slight decrease. In 2015, the closures dramatically decreased to about 700 and continued to show steady figures over the next two years.
In contrast, newly established stores exhibited more volatile trends throughout the period. In the first year, the number of new openings reached its highest point at approximately 8,500. The following year saw a sharp decline to 4,000 new stores, but this figure rebounded to around 6,000 in 2014. However, in 2015, the number of openings declined again. For the next two years, this number stabilized before experiencing another decline in the final year of the period.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and the progression of the essay is smooth.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to show more variety.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. The vocabulary is used appropriately and accurately.
The essay uses a wide range of structures and there is evidence of complex sentence formation. The sentences are error-free and well-punctuated.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The information is clearly and logically presented, and the essay provides a detailed and accurate description of the data.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully understand the task and that you provide a comprehensive response.