the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018
The line graph below illustrates the number of shops that have been opened, and also number of shops that have been closed in one country over a 8 year period from 2011 to 2018
Overall, both categories have been declining over the years with some upward movements in the way. Additionally, for opened stores 2011 was a bad year because the numbers fall dramatically. In addition to this, 2014 was a good year for store because the number of closures decreased to an all time low.
From 2011 to 2012, while shops that were close declined a little from around 6500 to 6000, shops that were opened fall dramatically from about 8500 to 4000. In the next period, from 2012 to 2014, opened shops were increasing from 4000 to around 6000. Meanwhile, similar to opened shops, the number of shops that were closed also increased to the same levels as opened shops .
Furthermore, from 2014 to 2015, there were a huge fall in the number of shops that were closed, where it reached less than thousand close shops in that year. In the same year, the opened shops also decreased from around 6000 to approximately 4000, which was a mild decline compared to closed shops.
However, From 2015 to 2016, the number of closed stores recovered it’s fall with a rise to around 5000, then it fluctuates there for next three years.
Meanwhile, the number of shops that have been opened remained in the same levels at 4000 with a decrease in the last year to an all time low of 3000.
The essay presents information in a logical sequence, but there are issues with cohesion and some unclear transitions.
Suggestions
- Use clearer linking words to enhance flow.
- Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks variety and precision.
There are several grammatical errors and issues with sentence structures.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and some information is inaccurately presented.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed analysis of trends.
- Ensure accuracy in data interpretation.
- Include more specific data points.