The graph below shows the number of shows that closed and the number of new shops tha opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
The line graph shows how many markets were closed and opened in a certain country from 2011 to 2018. The units are measured in numbers.
Overall, although the number of shops that opened was more than that of which closed, overtaking by closures.
In 2011, the most openings were observed, showing the highest trend over the span at around 8500. However, there was a dramatic fall in this number, dropping to 4000 in 2012, but ever since then, the number of shops that started working increased to almost 6200 in 2014. It is clear that the figure for openings fell back to its former position in 2015 and had remained in this position by 2017, going down to 3000 in the final year.
On the other hand, we can see a different scenario in closings. Even though a mere decrease showed in initial years from 6200 in 2011 to 6000 in 2012, the upward trends witnessed by 2014. It is also noticeable that the number of closures declined significantly from 6300 to 800 in 2015, but since this year it has skyrocketed to 5100 in 2016, remaining in this leading position by 2018.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show more variety in your language skills.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information and makes appropriate comparisons where necessary. The essay also provides specific details and examples to support the main points.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all data points are accurately represented and clearly described.
- Make sure to use the correct terminology for the given context.