The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to four countries from 1990 to 2012
The line graph illustrates the proportion of exportations made to Japan, the US, China, and India by Australia between 1990 and 2012. Overall, Australia started exporting more to India and China, while the initial major importers from Australia experienced a decline.
Focusing on increased figures, initially, both India and China were the lowest importers with about 2% and 5%, respectively. Then, both figures experienced a gradual rise to 5% for China and to 3% for India. In the following years, percentages of exporting to those countries rapidly grew, and the figure for India achieved a peak at 8% in 2010. Meanwhile, the Australian exports percentage rapidly rose to 14% and, by the end of the period, it doubled to 28%, surpassing Japan’s figure, which was formerly the highest figure.
By contrast, exports to Japan and the USA became fewer. In 1990, Japan was the largest importer of Australian goods with 25%, while the USA was second with 13%. However, there was a significant decrease for both Japan, to 18%, and the USA, to 8%, in 1995. In the next 5 years, the percentage of exports to the USA recovered to its initial percentage (13%), before witnessing a sharp decline to almost 5% at the end of the period. Meanwhile, exports to Japan bottomed at 16% in 2005. Finally, after a slight fall to 18%, Japan’s figure increased to 20%.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear progression of ideas. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more varied linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
- Clarify comparisons with more precise language.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, some expressions are repetitive or could be more precise.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors that do not impede understanding.
The essay addresses all parts of the task, providing a clear overview and supporting details. However, some data points could be more accurately described.
Suggestions
- Verify data points with the graph for accuracy.
- Ensure all main trends are covered in the overview.