The graph below shows UK acid rain emissions, measured in millions of tonnes, from four different sectors between 1990 and 2007
The line graph illustrates how much acid rain emissions that measured in four sectors in the UK from 1991 to 2007.
Overall, Electricity, Gas and Water Supply sector decreased dramatically while transport and communication sector fluctuated wildly in the UK in this period. Domestic and other industries sectors dropped steadily until 2007.
In 1993, Electricity, Gas, and Water Supply sector stood at around 3.3 million tonnes, however, it dropped to around 1.4 million tonnes. Since then, It fluctuated wildly until 2003 and it stood at around 0.9 million tonnes. It dropped steadily between 2003 and 2007.
Domestic remained constant from 1991 to 1994. After it dropped minimally, again remain constant until 1998. And this decrease repeated.
Transport and Communication increase minimally and stabilize upto 1993 and dropped slightly and rise minimally and levelled of until 1998. In the 1999s onwards, it grew steadily until 2005 and fell slightly between 2005 and 2007.
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, there are issues with logical flow and clarity.
Suggestions
- Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use more linking words to enhance coherence.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety and precision. Some word choices are awkward.
There are several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed data support and clarity in some areas.
Suggestions
- Include specific data points to support descriptions.
- Ensure the time periods mentioned match the graph.
- Clarify which sector is being discussed at the beginning of each paragraph.