The graph shows Japanese average monthly salary (Yen) from 1953 to 1973, and the prices of black and white Television and colored Television during the same period.
The line graph illustrates the amounts of wages (Yen) and the values of black-and-white and colored televisions for Japanese people between 1953 and 1973.
Overall, what stands out from the graph is that, while the prices of black-and-white and colored televisions experienced a considerable downward trend during the period, the Japanese average monthly salary increased only slightly throughout the period. Another interesting point is that the monthly wage was the lowest figure initially, and then it was the most raised figure in 1973.
In detail, colored television started at ¥180 in 1958, and it was mostly higher than others. While the prices of colored televisions decreased significantly by about ¥110 in 1963, this figure showed a slight decline of ¥90 by the end of the period. Similarly, the values of black-and-white televisions began at ¥100 initially, before decreasing gradually to just under ¥40 from 1958 to 1973.
By contrast, the Japanese average income was the lowest paid, approximately ¥30 in 1953, and followed by a consistent upward trend to ¥100 in 1968. After undergoing a sharp growth to ¥180 in 1973, it was the highest price.
The essay presents information in a logical order, but some comparisons and contrasts could be clearer.
Suggestions
- Improve the clarity of comparisons.
- Enhance the logical flow between sentences.
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, but there is room for more variety.
The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures, but there are some inaccuracies.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting key trends and comparisons.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points for clarity.
- Ensure all trends are accurately represented.