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the graph shows the average Japanese month salary (Yen) from 1953 to 1983, and the prices of black and white televisions and color televisions during the same period.

The line graph illustrates how the cost of color and black & white TVs as well as average monthly salary changed in Japan at 10-year intervals, from 1970 to 2000, measured in thousands yens.
Overall, the figure for the cost of both types of TVs witnessed a downward trend, with colorful TV being not emerged in initial years, whereas the reverse was true for monthly salary of the Japanese.
Looking at the price of colorful TVs in more detail, starting at 110,000 yens initially, a figure experienced a dramatic decrease to 40,000 yens in 1980. This then declined slowly but constantly towards the end, hitting the lowest point at 20,000 yens.
Regarding black & white TV costs, it was not available when the period began, and started with exactly 100,000 yens in the late 1970s. There was a rapid decline in the price to well under 70,000 yens in the middle of the timeframe examined, before a further drop to around 50,000 yens in the final year.
Moving on to the average wage of Japanese population, it stood at just under 20,000 yens in 1970, followed by a gradual growth of about 12,000 yens in around 1995. Another sharp rise was seen in the figure for monthly salary to nearly 68,000 yens in 2000, reaching its peak at the end.
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5.0

The essay presents information in a logical order, but there are inconsistencies and inaccuracies in the timeline and data presented.

Suggestions
  • Ensure accuracy in the timeline and data description.
  • Use linking words to improve the flow of information.
  • Clarify the trends observed in the graph.

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitive expressions.

The essay contains some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in data representation.

The essay addresses the task but contains inaccuracies in the timeline and data interpretation.

Suggestions
  • Ensure the data and timeline match the graph.
  • Provide accurate descriptions of trends and changes.