The graph shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
The line graph shows annual changes in the number of opened and closed shops in the same 7-year period and country, from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, both figures faced a general downward trend, although experiencing an increase in the early years of the span.
Focusing on the first four years, the figure for opened shops reached its peak in 2011, accounting for almost nine thousand, which was 35000 more than closed shops. By the year 2014, the number of new shops rose enormously (to 6000), after having a dramatic decrease in 2012 by 5000. In the same year, the figure for shops which were closed – shows a slight fluctuation but with an overall increase, by 200. In 2015, both opened and closed shops fell, the former moderately (by 2000), the latter considerably (from 7500 to 500) in terms of numbers.
As for the remaining years of the span, the number of new shops leveled out by the year 2016, which was a period when the figure for closures surged dramatically by 10 times, and figures stood almost unchanged till the end of the period, 2018.
The essay presents information logically, but some parts lack clarity and precision. Linking words are used, but not always effectively.
Suggestions
- Improve the clarity of comparisons between openings and closures.
- Use more precise linking phrases to show trends over time.
- Ensure each sentence logically follows the previous one.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary with some precision, though there are occasional lapses in word choice.
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are errors in grammar and punctuation.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and accurate representation of data trends.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed analysis of trends and data.
- Ensure numerical data is accurately represented.
- Include a clearer summary of the overall trends.