The graph shows the percentage of households in one country that had various goods between 2001 and 2008. summarized the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph shows the proportion of eight distinct items owned by households in the years 2001 and 2008. There is no specifications about the country, the information gathered in.
Overall, by 2008, most households owned all items except telephones, which were more common in 2001. The figures pf desktop computer in 2001 almost doubled and also dishwasher doubled. In 2008 internet and mobile phones dramatically charged.
In 2001, 95%, almost every single families had telephone, but in 2008 the one declined on 5% in addition microwave rose on 10% till 2008 and also CD player rose on 10%. The 3 counted items not only rose, but also in 2008 they were corresponded with each other with 90%. The percentage of households with clothes dryers was 60% in 2001 and increased by 10% in 2008.
Figures of dishwasher in 2001 were 20% and in 2008 figures doubled in addition desktop computer also almost doubled, from 35% to 65%. Mobile phones from 25% rose more than 3 times to 80%, moreover the largest rise, internet rose on 6 times, from 10% to 60%.
The essay presents information in a somewhat logical order but lacks clear cohesion. There are abrupt transitions and some details are not well connected.
Suggestions
- Use linking words for smoother transitions.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
- Avoid abrupt shifts between ideas.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with some repetition and errors. There are attempts to use less common words, but they are often inaccurate.
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. There is limited use of complex sentences.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and comparison. Some key features are not clearly highlighted.
Suggestions
- Highlight key trends and comparisons more clearly.
- Provide more detailed analysis of the data.