The graph shows the percentages of households in one country that had various goods between 2001 and 2008
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of dwellings in an unspecified country that had several items over the seven- years from 2001 to 2008.
Overall, it is clear that the percentage of houses with home items became more popular in 2008 particularly phones for mobile usage, and internet networks which had the most significant changes. Cell phones, microwaves, and clothes dryers were the ones with the least popularity among household goods.
The data reveals that in 2001, the percentage of cell phones in households was the highest at 95% It’s also worth mentioning that internet usage reached its lowest point at 10 % during this period. As for CD player, the percentage of their popularity was 70% then second highest figure the microwaves was 80 percent having just over by 10% from the CD players. As regards clothes dryer It was accounted for exactly 60 percent, having lesser items than others above. Turning to mobile phones, home computer and dish washer their popularity in houses accounted for 25%,35% and 20% respectively.
After 7 years in 2008, the proportion of all three telephones, microwaves and CD players showed upward trend except for telephones it was 10% lesser then the last year all three of the stuffs above ware 90%. Mobile phones and internet showed the highest growth of 80% and 60% respectively. Next, home computers that increased by 30 percent from 35% to 65 %.
Clothes dryers’ popularity in houses increased slightly to 70% from 60%. Lastly the dishwashers showed a double increase from 20% to 40% houses with items
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is some evidence of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and some sentences are unclear.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by avoiding the use of ambiguous language.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and data to support your statements.
- Avoid using ambiguous language.