The illustrations of how chocolate is produced
The diagram illustrates the process for the producing of chocolate. There are totally ten stages in the process, beginning with the growing of pods on the cacao trees and culminating in the production of the chocolate.
First of all, the cacao comes from the cacao tree, which is grown in the South American and African continents and the country of Indonesia. Once the pods are matured which are ripe and red, they are harvested and the white cacao beans are removed. Following a period of fermentation, the white coca beans are then laid out on a large tray in order to be dried under the sun. Next, they are placed into large sacks and delivered to the factory where they are roasted at a temperature of 350 degrees, after which the beans are crushed and separated from their outer shell. In the final stage, this inner part that is left pressed and the chocolate is produced.
The essay follows a logical sequence, but some transitions are abrupt. The flow could be improved with better linking words.
Suggestions
- Use more cohesive devices to link stages.
- Ensure each stage is clearly connected to the next.
The vocabulary used is appropriate, but there is some repetition. Synonyms could enhance the variety.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures but contains some errors in sentence construction.
The essay addresses the task well, describing the stages of chocolate production accurately. However, it lacks some detail in the transportation and factory processing stages.
Suggestions
- Include more detail on transportation and factory processes.
- Ensure all stages are covered comprehensively.