The importance of teaching history to children in schools is debated, with some advocating for its inclusion and others favoring more contemporary subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In contemporary society, there is an ongoing debate over the significance of history in schools. History plays a fundamental role in present society. But modern subjects such as IT and art are also vital. There are merits to both subjects. In my point of view, both history and modern subjects should be taught.
Firstly, history gives the opportunity to learn about the past. History is full of moral failures, injustice, and resilience. Society should learn how to address contemporary issues from previous problems. For example, civil rights movements and the period of the abolishment of slavery fostered a sense of justice. Secondly, individuals need to preserve cultural heritage because history reflects customs and traditions. Every nation has ethics. Cultural things should not be lost. People need to preserve them for future generations
Moreover, the school curriculum should provide a platform for students in the IT or art spheres. Familiarity with technology prepares students for future careers. In a high-technology world, learning about IT equips students to foster skills such as problem-solving and technical proficiency. Knowledge in IT opens doors to numerous career opportunities. Furthermore, art is important because it can shape our creativity skills. It encourages creative thinking and problem-solving skills, leading to critical thinking. Creating art pieces contributes to critical thinking. Students who engage in the arts can achieve numerous skills, I think students should learn these other present subjects
In conclusion, there are merits to both history and modern subjects. History can help individuals learn about the past and encourages us to preserve cultural heritage. Regarding contemporary subjects, they are also important. They can shape skills such as critical thinking, creativity and problem-solving.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, but there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “the period of the abolishment of slavery” should be “the period of the abolition of slavery,” and “cultural things should not be lost” should be “Cultural heritage should not be lost.” Refining word choice and ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, using a wider variety of expressions and idioms will make the essay more engaging to read.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “For example, civil rights movements and the period of the abolishment of slavery fostered a sense of justice” should be “For example, the civil rights movement and the abolition of slavery fostered a sense of justice.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, varying sentence structure and using a wider range of grammatical constructions will make the essay more engaging to read.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the importance of both history and modern subjects in education. The writer presents a clear position that both types of subjects are important and provides reasons for this view. The essay would benefit from more specific examples to support these points, such as mentioning specific historical events or contemporary examples of the relevance of IT and art education. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well-supported with relevant examples will improve the overall quality of the essay.