The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?
The increase in the production of consumer goods has become a pressing global issue because of its harmful effects on the nature. In this essay, I will explore causes for environmental damage and try to suggest some solutions to deal with this issue.
There are two major reasons why the condition of ecosystem is getting worse. Firstly, it is a growing demand for raw materials such as timber and paper or to clean area for urban expansion. Therefore, vast areas of forests are being destroyed, which leads to habitat destruction and loss of biodiversity. Amazon rainforest can be a good case in point, by logging huge number of trees there is a risk of natural disasters like flooding and landslides. Another reason for the determination of nature is industrial activities leading to pollution. Numerous factories emit toxic gases and pollutant particles into atmosphere, causing air pollution, or discharge contaminated water into rivers. As a result, polluted water and air not only affect people’s wellbeing, but also contributing to global challenges like climate change.
However, by implementing strict regulations and limits might improve the situation. In details, governments should take control of the amount of carbon emissions and waste is released by each factory and introduce limits of extracting resources. If industries which overuse natural resources or exceed the emission limits, they should be penalized or fined. Moreover, governments should encourage people and organisations to use renewable energy sources like solar and wind power, in manufacturing. It is not only benefits the ecosystem , but also might be cost-effective, because solar and wind power are much cheaper compared to fossil fuels.
In conclusion, high demand for raw materials and release of toxic gases often deteriorate the environment. Incorporating renewable energy and strict limits and laws might mitigate the issue.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “ecosystem,” “biodiversity,” “pollution,” and “renewable energy.” However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more varied and sophisticated use of language to enhance the discussion and engage the reader.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds interest and variety to the writing. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. For example, “the condition of ecosystem is getting worse” should be “the condition of the ecosystem is deteriorating,” and “by implementing strict regulations and limits might improve the situation” should be “implementing strict regulations and limits might improve the situation.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, such as subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles, would enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the causes of environmental damage due to the production of consumer goods and suggesting solutions to mitigate this issue. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to ecosystem degradation, such as deforestation and industrial pollution, and proposes practical solutions, such as implementing strict regulations and promoting renewable energy sources. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the potential challenges and implications of these solutions to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the conclusion summarizes all the key points made in the essay.
- Provide a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes all the key points made in the essay.