The leaders or directors of organizations are often older people. But some people say that young people can also be a leader. Do you agree or disagree?
It is noted that older people are usually in leadership roles at many organizations whereas some believe that the young can also be leaders. I agree that some young people can outqualify older ones in terms of leadership traits.
There are a lot of factors that serve in the favor of seniors regarding leadership roles. As people age, they gain experience over the years. It can be so helpful for promotion in the workplaces. Additionally, the old leaders have already encountered a wide range of challenges and a development of skills as well as knowledge. These leadership traits are valued by employees too. On average, the leaders or CEOs across all industries fall somewhere between 50 and 60 years old. However, young workers who have enough leadership attributes should be promoted to higher positions.
Age is not the most important aspect of leadership. There are some people who can be a leader from a young age, but there are a few biases as to leadership and young employees are always seen as not having enough responsibilities towards their job. This can be true to some extent, although there are a lot of young leaders at different organizations such as tech-companies , nearly all tech-industries are run by the young who showcased enough reliability and leadership qualities in the workplace. For example, Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO of Meta, was in his 20s when he established his first company called Facebook, and till now, he has been running it. This is a testimony that young people can also be in charge.
In conclusion, the old can be a good leader because of the accumulated experiences that they have but we cannot underestimate the role of younger ones at work so that they are the future of any organizations. Hence I believe that the young can be in a leadership position as well, if they have qualities that are required to be.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “This can be true to some extent, although there are a lot of young leaders at different organizations such as tech-companies , nearly all tech-industries are run by the young who showcased enough reliability and leadership qualities in the workplace” is awkward and unclear. Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. For example, “As people age, they gain experience over the years” could be rephrased as “As people age, they accumulate experience over the years.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing the strengths of both older and younger leaders. The writer presents a clear introduction and conclusion, and the body paragraphs each discuss a different aspect of the issue. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer’s stance.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop all of your points and provide specific examples to support your arguments.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to make your essay more comprehensive.