The line graph shows the average number of weekly patients visiting four clinics of hospital from 2010 to 2016
The line graph illustrates the minimum number of weekly people who visited various types of clinics namely birth control,eye,diabetic and dental between 2010 and 2016.Overall,there was aconsiderable increase in the number of people who went to birth control,eye and diabetic with the second category mentioned dominating the graph for the better part of the period.While dental clinics saw their number drop significantly.
Focusing on bigger changes first,starting at approximately 250,the number of people visited birth control increased slightly to 280 in 2012,while the figure for eye about 30 and reached 150 in the second year.This was followed by a marked rise to staggering 350 in the final year,this figure being the peak level of patients during the whole period.Despite a considerable decrease to just around 180 in 2014,the count of people in birth control rose noticeably to just below 250 in 2016.
When it comes to the smaller changes, in the 2012, 100 and 70 of people visited the dental and diabetic respectively.Followed by a period of stability for diabetic untill 2014 after which the figure rose to nearby 170 in 2016.The number of people visited to dental declined to a mere 50 before growing to 110 in 2014 and then it experienced a time of consistency.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to that topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and the majority of sentences are error-free. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by avoiding vague language.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and data to support your main points.
- Avoid vague language and be precise in your descriptions.