The line graph shows the percentage of elderly people who participated in different leisure activities, including reading, hiking, theatre, watching TV, and surfing the internet from 1980 to 2010.
The line graph illustrates the percentage of elderly people who participated in different leisure activities, including reading, hiking, theatre, watching TV, and surfing the internet, between 1980 and 2010.
Generally speaking, it is evident that the percentage of elderly people demonstrated a substantial rise in hiking. While the proportion of elderly people declined slightly in theatre.Another interesting point is that the proportion of senior citizens remained unchanged in watching TV.
Focusing on increasing figures, the percentage of older people started at 20% in 1980. Over the three decades, the proportion of elderly people grew dramatically, reaching the peak of 80% in 2010. Similarly, the proportion of golden agers represented only 5% in surfing the internet in 1980. However, the proportion of mature adults demonstrated a dramatic growth to 50% in 1980. Meanwhile, the percentage of senior citizens began at 30% in reading in 1980. The percentage of mature adults showed some fluctuations from 1980 to 2000. Finally, the proportion of older adults increased significantly to 60% in reading in 2010.
In contrast, the percentage of the elderly people made up 50% in theatre in 1980. Nonetheless, the proportion of mature adults dropped slightly to 40% in 2010. Moreover, the proportion of senior citizens remained stable in watching TV.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a clear progression of information.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. The vocabulary is generally used appropriately, with some minor errors.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also presents detail to support the main points.
Suggestions
- Make sure to accurately report the data, avoiding any unclear or incorrect statements.
- Ensure that all data points are clearly connected to the overall trend or pattern.