The line graph shows the proportion of total exports of clothing in 4 countries in 2000 and 2014.

The graph illustrates data about the amount of clothes exported by four different countries between 2000 and 2014.
Overall, the graph highlights significant upward trends in clothing exports from both China and Asia, while those from the European Union and the USA saw a steady decline over the period in question.
Looking at the details, China’s exports started at under 15 in 2000 and then there was a sharp increase throughout the period, rocketing to over 35 in 2014. This meant that China exported the largest quantity of clothes among the four countries in that year. Regarding Asia’s clothing exports, it started at a higher point than China’s at the beginning of the period, but then sharply plummeted to approximately 18 in 2002. Subsequently, there was a slight rise, with the proportion to 20, but still lower than the initial level.
By contrast, exports from the EU and the US followed a different trend. Despite starting with the highest trend, the exports of the EU dropped significantly till the end of the period. If we look at the United States’ clothing sales, there was a fluctuation between 12 and 4 over a 14 year period.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a clear progression of information.

Suggestions

Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show more variety.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. The vocabulary is generally used appropriately.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and the majority of sentences are error-free. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.

The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The information is accurately and appropriately selected and well supported.