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The maps below show an industrial area in the the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site

The maps present an industrial zone in the town of Norbiton and its proposed future layout. It’s predicted that there will be a dramatic change in the structure of the Norbiton, particularly in the transformation of the industrial zone. The proposed plan includes the addition of residential areas to accommodate the needs of the population, along with facilities such as medical centers, schools, shops, playgrounds, and housing.
Norbiton’s central part currently features roundabouts surrounded by several factories. A road extends eastward from the roundabout, along with additional factories. There is a long river and a farmland located just next to the river. To the west of the industrial zone, there is a restricted town area. That’s it. That was about Iwan.
Turning to the future proposed plan, it’s predicted that Norbiton is planned to be urbanized, with all factories replaced by houses and supported facilities. The center roundabout will remain, and a smaller roundabout is expected to be added to the south of the town. Besides that roundabout, the medical center is planned. A school will be built at the eastern end of the road, while children’s playground will be located not far between the river and the road. In north, a new bridge is planned to cross the river, connected to several houses next to the river.

6.0

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to that topic.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some issues with word order and the use of articles.

The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed descriptions of the current and future layouts.

Suggestions
  • Provide more detailed descriptions of the current and future layouts.
  • Use a variety of sentence structures to make the writing more interesting.