The maps below show the town of Langley in 1910 and 1950.
The maps compare the changes that the town of Langley underwent over a period of 40 years, from 1910 to 1950.
It can be seen from the maps that there have been both major and minor changes to the town’s infrastructure. The addition of a new park with trees also made the town greener, signaling another change worth mentioning.
In the year 1910, the town was more industrialized and had two useless lands, but during the next 40 years, they saw a number of significant changes. The most noticeable is that the factory, all the houses along Sherman Street, and the wasteland, where the factory is located were demolished to make way for a Sherman mansion. Furthermore, the Laundry and the Café were moved next to the mansions.
Further developments were the construction of skyscrapers along the left side of Jordan Street, but in 1910 there were residents’ houses on both sides of the road. Additionally, the railway line and the wasteland were erected, instead, the park with a children’s play area was established on the opposite of the Mansions.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the changes. However, the use of some cohesive devices could be improved for better flow and clarity.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Consider using more topic sentences to clearly introduce each new point.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, some words and phrases could be used more accurately.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are a few awkward or incorrect constructions that could be revised for clarity.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by clearly distinguishing between the two maps.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details about the changes, including the reasons for the changes and their impact on the town.
- Clearly distinguish between the 1910 map and the 1950 map when describing the changes.