The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and in 2010stoke
The two pictures illustrate the main changes which was taken place in the village of Stokeford between the years 1930 and 2010. Overall, it can be seen that the village has become residential with far more new apartments and a hospital.
Looking at the layout in 2010, the village has undergone significant changes. The first visible change was the removal of the farmland in the north-east and south to make way for houses. The disused primary school in the north-east of the village was turned into a hospital.
Shops on the opposite side of the road were demolished to construct houses. The post office in the east remained unchanged. The roads running around residential areas were extended to the east and south to make the village more accessible. The old and large house was demolished to build a retirement house. The last development was an increase in the number of houses on the opposite side of the river stoke to the north-west.
The essay is logically organized and uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately. However, there are a few instances where the flow of information could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using more varied linking words to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and demonstrates some awareness of collocation. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is some evidence of control of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors that need to be addressed.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples.
Suggestions
- Include specific data or statistics to support your main points.
- Provide more detailed descriptions of the changes shown in the maps.