The only reason why people work hard is to earn money and there is no other reason for doing so.
Many people believe that the primary reason behind working extremely hard is to fulfill their needs and make money. I completely agree with this point of view as I think that financial needs and future security are the main motivators for most workers.
There are several reasons why individuals work. I believe that the majority of people work extremely hard because they need to provide for themselves as well as their families, especially in today’s world it is extremely challenging to make a living. It is true that we are living in the best century of all time however, it comes with its price such as paying the bills for electricity, gas, water, and rent not to mention buying food and meeting our basic needs. To supply those things for their family their children and themselves individuals need to put in considerable effort. Consequently, the need to fulfill daily expenses and provide for their families compels individuals to work tirelessly, leaving little choice but to prioritize earning money over other aspects of life.
Another important reason why people work hard is to secure their future. Some individuals work overtime and even sacrifice their leisure time so they can achieve their long-term goals like buying a car, or house. They might also be saving up money little by little to cover the expenses of the university and other essential things that might be needed for their children in the future. I think If it was all founded by the government or completely free People might not feel the same urgency to work tirelessly, as their long-term goals have already been secured.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that earning money is the primary reason people work hard. Financial responsibilities such as daily expenses securing a better future for themselves and their families drive individuals to put significant effort. Without these motivations the need to work might not be as strong
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly presented. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your sentences are not too long or complex, which can sometimes make your writing less clear.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be phrased more clearly.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging to the reader.
Suggestions
- Consider starting your essay with a more engaging hook to capture the reader’s attention.
- Ensure that your thesis statement is clear and directly addresses the essay question.