The only reason why people work hard is to earn money and there is no other reason for doing so. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people often argue about reason people work hard is to earn money, because finance plays crucial role for good living while I believe that people do not only work for earn mony, they are always motivated doing thier passionate work, including career growth, personal fulfillment and also the desire to contribute to society.
It is undeniable that money plays major role in why people work hard. First of all, people need money to buy basic needs such as food, housing, and healthcare.Finance is essential for supporting oneself and one’s family. Many say ” Money is happiness, if you do not money, you are nothing, nobody mentions you”. Moreover, Many people work hard to afford a more luxurious lifestyle, such as owning a home, travelling abroad, or buying expensive cars. These people flaunt their wealth with these luxurious items.
However, Money is not the only reason people work hard. Many individuals are motivated by personal fulfillment. For example, Artists, IT spealists, teachers and etc. They may work long hours because they find joy in pursuing their passion. Career advancement is another key motivator for people to work hard. Many individuals strive to improve their skills and climb the career ladder, which offers a sense of achievement and personal growth.
In conclusion, while financial gain is undoubtedly a significant motivator for many people, it is not the sole reason individuals work hard. Personal satisfaction, career advancement, and desire to contribute to society are also important factor. So I disagree with the idea that finance is the only clue for why people work hard.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance on the issue.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance on the issue.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource, with a variety of vocabulary used effectively to convey the intended meaning. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting for the reader. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting for the reader. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, and the body paragraphs are well-organized and focused. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.