The pie chart and bar chart below show the percentage of water consumption and use in Australia in 2004
The graphs give information about how much percentage of water was consumed and its usage in Australia in the year 2004.
Overall, the largest proportion of water was used in residential houses, while it was reverse true for “Other” category. In addition, Garden and Bathroom are dominant in water use compared to others.
In terms of pie chart, residential houses stood out with almost 60%, significantly higher than industry, business sectors and residential apartments, which were around 12%. While “other” category and government sectors utilized water substantially lower compared to others, making up merely 3% and 6%, respectively.
As for the bar chart, bathroom and garden required a waste array of water, nearly 27% for both of them, respectively. The water used in order to wash clothes comprised one-fifth of total household consumption, whereas toilet consumed 15%. Finally, the kitchen made up the smallest proportion, using solely 3% of it.
The essay presents information in a logical order but lacks clear transitions between ideas. Some sentences are not well connected, affecting the flow.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
- Avoid abrupt shifts between topics.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, but there are some inaccuracies.
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures but contains some grammatical errors.
The essay addresses the task, describing the main features of the charts, but lacks some detailed comparisons.
Suggestions
- Include more detailed comparisons between categories.
- Ensure all data points are accurately represented.