The pie chart below shows energy sources in Australia in 2008 and predictions for 2030
THE PIE CHART GIVES INFORMATION HOW ENERGY SOURCES IN AUSTRALIA IN 2008 AND PREDICTIONS FOR 2030.
OVERALL, WHILE COAL FROM ENERGY SOURCES ON THE AUSTRALIA IN 2008 WAS THE HIGHEST RATE, IN 2030 IT WILL BE DECREASE AT RATE. IN ADDITION, PROPORTION OF OIL FROM ENERGY SOURCES WILL BE INCREASE 2008 TO 2030.
ON THE ONE HAND, HIGHER DEGREE OF ENERGY SOURCES WAS OIL, GAS AND COAL WITH 32.50 PERCENT, 22.90 PERCENT AND 39.00 PERCENT PERFECTIVELY IN 2008. HOWEVER, PREDICTIONS FOR 2030, THIS ENERGY SOURCES WILL BE ALTER, AND THAT THE RATES OF OIL AND GAS WILL BE INCREASE BY WITH 35.50 PERCENT AND 32.00 PERCENT, PROPERLY, AT THE SAME TIME COAL ENERGY SOURCES WILL BE DECLINE WITH 22.30 PERCENT.
ON THE OTHER HAND, THE LEAST RATE OF ENERGY SOURCES WAS WIND, SOLAR, HYDRO AND OTHERS WITH 0.30 PERCENT, 0.80 PERCENT, 0.20 PERCENT AND 4.30 PERCENR RELATIVELY IN 2008. HOWEVER, PREDICTIONS FOR 2030 SHARE OF ENERGY SOURCES FOR WIND, GEOTHERMAL, HYDRO ADN OTHERS WILL BE ABOUT 0.90 PERCENT, 4.30 PERCENT, 0.70 PERCENT AND 4.30 PERCENT PERFECTIVELY.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of an attempt to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies and the use of all-caps is not appropriate.
The essay makes use of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are some errors and the use of grammatical range is not fully demonstrated.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information presented in the pie chart. The key features and significant trends are identified and described. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by making more direct comparisons where possible.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and make more direct comparisons to support your analysis.
- Consider the implications of the data and provide some insight into the potential reasons for the trends.