The pie chart below shows the most common advantages and disadvantages of Fairmont Island according to a survey of visitors.
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of most common benefits as well as drawbacks of Fairmont Island by visitor’s request. Overall, according to the requests from visitors to the island, it’s mainly appreciated for scenery, while the high cost of living is considered the highest drawback. Other advantages as well as disadvantages have smaller percentages.
Firstly on the advantages, the scenery is the most frequently mentioned benefit, accounting for 37% of responses. The people are also seen positively, with 25% of visitors highlighting this aspect. Good accommodation and culture are less significant, making up 12% and 11%, respectively.
On the other hand, the most common drawback is the high cost of living, reported by 45% of visitors. This is followed by food quality, which accounts for 30%. Entertainment is seen as an issue by 20% of respondents, while weather is the least concerning, mentioned by only 5%.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. The writer uses appropriate linking words and phrases to connect ideas and ensure a smooth flow of information. However, there are a few instances where the use of pronouns could be clearer to improve coherence.
Suggestions
- Consider using more varied pronouns and referencing to improve coherence.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all information in the paragraph is relevant to that topic.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved for greater precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where sentence structure could be improved for greater clarity.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information and presents key features and significant trends. The essay also provides specific details and examples to support the main points. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed analysis of the data and by making more specific comparisons where relevant.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed analysis of the data and make more specific comparisons where relevant.