The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years.
The given pie chart highlights the proportion of information technology person in teenage to adult age catagory used to view television in canada between 2009 to 2019.the data are expressed in percentages.
overall, mobile phone seen dominating the both years where as conventional tv seen the lowest uesd to watch in both the years in canada.
in the terms of laptop in intinal years 2009 its seem like its have a good watcher but sightly its flowing down in 2019 by 8%.in addition 2009 tablet is not used most but its seem dametically rise in 2019 by 7%.desktop computer seen contant in both years and have better watcher in canada.
in other hand canda have a better watches throught the years.flat screen tv seem floe down by 6% by coming to year 2019.
The essay has a logical flow of information and ideas. However, there are some unclear connections between sentences and paragraphs.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Make sure to clearly restate the information and trends in the charts.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling.
The essay has a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and inaccuracies.
The essay generally addresses the task, but it could provide a more detailed and accurate interpretation of the data.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the essay provides a clear and accurate interpretation of the data.
- Try to provide more specific details and examples from the data in the body paragraphs.