The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.
The pie charts compare the devices used by Canadian youth in two different years. In general, there was a shift from traditional TV viewing to more modern and portable devices among the younger generation.
In 2009, conventional TVs were the most common means of viewing, with 34% of the young population using them. However, this changed over the next 10 years, with flat-screen TVs and mobile phones replacing traditional TVs as the primary devices. These two devices accounted for nearly the same proportions in 2019, at 27% and 26%, respectively.
Other devices, such as laptops and desktop computers, became less popular over the decade, whereas tablets saw a substantial rise in usage. Tablets were used more frequently than laptops and desktop computers, accounting for 19%, while the other two gadgets made up exactly 12% of the total.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. The writer uses appropriate connectors to link ideas and ensure a smooth flow of information. However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of tense when describing the data from 2009 and 2019.
Suggestions
- Ensure consistency in tense usage when describing data from different years to avoid confusion.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures and shows a good level of grammatical control. However, there are a few minor errors that could be addressed.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information and makes appropriate comparisons where necessary. The writer addresses all parts of the task and presents a well-developed response. However, the writer could provide a bit more detail in some areas.
Suggestions
- Include specific data and examples to support your main points. This will make your essay more informative and engaging.