The pie charts below show the percentage of students on the one adult education center taking a various course offered in 1985 and this year.
The two pie charts show the percentage of students taking different courses at an adult education center in 1985 and this year.
Overall, there have been notable changes in course popularity, with the introduction of IT courses and a decline in interest for some traditional subjects.
In 1985, modern languages were the most popular course, with 24% of students enrolled. Fitness and dance followed closely at 22%, while local history and art courses attracted 15% and 17%, respectively. Cookery accounted for 14%, and music appreciation was the least popular, with only 8% of students choosing it.
This year, IT has become the most popular course, accounting for 27% of enrollments, despite not being offered in 1985. Fitness and dance retained their share at 22%, while cookery increased slightly to 19%. However, modern languages dropped to 17%, and art courses saw a small decrease to 15%. Music appreciation is no longer offered
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and the progression of the essay is smooth.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to show more variety.
The range of vocabulary is quite wide and the writer has used some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved.
The essay uses a wide range of structures and there are few grammatical errors. However, there is room for improvement in the variety of sentence structures used.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The information is presented in a logical sequence and there are no irrelevant details.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully explain all the data in the pie charts and make direct comparisons where necessary.