The pie charts compare what percentage of energy UK consumed in 2000 and 2010.
The pie charts compare how much energy UK consumed in 2000 and 2010.
Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that all the categories expressed an increase except for the petrol. It is also clear that most of the energy consumed by gas and colar, while two categories, namely, solar and other saw an increase, albeit minimally.
In 2000, three categories were the highest proportion,which consumed 29.5%(gas), 30%(coal), and 29%( petrol). The figures for coal and gas, both experienced a minor increase by reaching 31% and 30%, but the petrol was only category that decreased.
The solar and other categories were the least consumed energy sources 6.5% and 5% in 2000.Both categories showed minor increase,albeit minimally. However, both categories remained the least consumed products in both years.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is some evidence of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and some sentences are unclear or awkward.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed comparisons and by avoiding some of the redundant information.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed comparisons between the data.
- Avoid redundant information – for example, the phrase ‘albeit minimally’ is repeated several times and could be omitted.