The pie charts show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use in Canada in two different years.
The pie charts compare the proportion of people aged 18 to 25 who used different devices in Canada in 2009 and 2019.
Overall, a significantly high proportion of people used conventional TV in 2009, but with digitalization, flat-screen TV use became much more popular among young people in the next decade. Notably, the lowest figure was recorded in the percentage of people using conventional TVs in 2019.
Turning to the specifics, conventional TV was the most widespread device among young people in 2009, accounting for 34%. The laptop ranked second in terms of device use at 20%. There was also a slight disparity in the proportion of people using desktop computers and mobile phones: the former was 18%, while the latter stood at 15%, respectively. The figure for flat-screen TVs was a bit higher than that of tablets, which had the lowest percentage of people using them, at 8% and 5%, respectively.
By 2019, there were many changes in the proportion of people using all the devices. The highest figures for flat-screen TVs and mobile phones increased dramatically to over 25%. By contrast, conventional TVs lost their popularity significantly, accounting for 4% of use among people. The most unpopular device used, a tablet, became more widespread among young people, rising to nearly 20%, which was 7% higher than that of desktop computers and laptops at the same percentage use of 12% among people.
The essay is well-organized with a clear comparison between the two years. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more varied linking words.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary to describe the data. Some phrases could be more precise.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear comparison and relevant data. Some details could be more precise.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data points are accurately reported.