The plan below show a natural history museum in 2010, and the same museum in 2013
The two maps show the transformation of the Natural History Museum from 2008 to 2013. Overall, the Natural History Museum became more diverse and visitor-friendly with the introduction of a range of facilities. It is also clear that the majority of changes took place to the right side of the museum while the left side remained more or less intact.
Focusing on the 2008 plan, access was from the bottom. To the left was the ticket office, behind which was the Dinosaur Hall. There was also a lobby behind which was the Ocean Hall. The room for displaying mammals was located in the north-west corner of the museum, where visitors could access through both the Dinosaur Hall and the Ocean Hall.
By 2013, the museum had experienced significant changes with the expansion to the east side. The first noticeable change had been the removal of the garden to the right of the museum to add more exhibition rooms and other facilities. The entrance area, the Ocean Hall, and the Dinosaur Hall remained the same, while the room displaying mammals had been moved to the east side of the museum to make way for the Ice Age exhibition and a small room displaying insects to the south-east corner. The room displaying human origins had been constructed in the center of a newly added block to the right side of the museum to the south of which a new shop and a cafe had been built.
The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing. There is a good use of linking words, although some areas could benefit from smoother transitions.
Suggestions
- Use more varied linking phrases to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Use consistent referencing to the years for clarity.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Some repetition is present, and there is room for more advanced lexical choices.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with few errors. There is a mix of simple and complex sentences.
The essay adequately addresses the task, summarizing the main features and making relevant comparisons. It effectively highlights the changes between the two plans.
Suggestions
- Include more specific details about the changes.
- Ensure all key features are mentioned.
- Use more precise language to describe the transformations.