The table and charts below give information about doctors in Australia between 1986 and 2006
The bar charts show how many doctors had in Australia and the proportion distribution of they based on gender and place of birth in the years 1986, 1996 and 2006. Overall, the number of doctors increased year by year and exhibited the highest figure in 2006. Moreover, there was a noticeable shift towards gender balance, with the proportion of female doctors rising significantly, reducing the dominance of males. At the same time, local doctors show higher numbers except for 2006.
The number of doctors saw consistent growth. Starting at 23720 in 1986, the figure for doctors rose to 29060 in 1996. After that, it continued its trajectory 35450.
Focusing on gender disparity, male doctors represented 75% in 1986, which was triple that of counterparts. In the next decade, this gap became less marked, when the figure for the former dropped to 66% and that for males rose to 32% . In 2006, females experienced significantly faster growth compared to males, which bucked the trend, reaching around 61% and 39%.
Regarding the place of birth, the percentage of local doctors started at 62 % in 1986, a figure that then fell to 58%, and this followed by a dramatic decline to 50% in 2006. However, doctors who were born abroad accounted for about 37% in 1986, before rising further to 41%, after which it continued improving and equaled to their counterparts with 50% in the final year.
The essay presents a logical structure but lacks smooth transitions between ideas. Some comparisons are unclear due to errors in figures, affecting coherence.
Suggestions
- Use clear transitions between paragraphs.
- Ensure data is accurately represented.
- Clarify comparisons between groups.
The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety. Some word choices are incorrect or awkward.
The essay contains several grammatical errors, affecting clarity. Sentence structures are often repetitive.
The essay addresses the task but contains inaccuracies in data representation. Some aspects of the data are not clearly explained.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data is accurately represented.
- Clarify the trends and comparisons in the data.