The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money from and the charts show how it was distributed.
The table and pie chart give information about general data about the police budget: the sources of money came from and where the budget was allocated, in 2017 and 2018.
Overall, in both years National Government was the main source of police giving more than half budget, and a huge money was allocated for the salaries of policemen.
Focusing on the table first, despite the National Government allocated huge money to the police accounting for 175.5 million in the first year, the figure increased by 2,3 million by the end. The total money that came from local taxes and other sources increased slightly from 129m to 141m, moreover, the general budget increased by 14m in one year.
As for the charts, three-fourths of total money was allocated to salaries, and the figure decreased up to 6% by 2018, while the reverse was true for technology which increased from 8% to 14%. And also the proportion of buildings in the police budget was 17% and, stood unchanged by the end of the period.
The essay presents information in a logical order but lacks clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas.
Suggestions
- Use clearer transitions between sections.
- Add topic sentences to each paragraph.
- Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary with some awareness of collocation, though there are occasional inaccuracies.
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors.
The essay addresses the task and includes relevant information, but lacks detailed analysis and explanation.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed analysis of the data.
- Include explanations for the trends observed.
- Ensure all key data points are clearly mentioned.