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The table and the charts give information about doctors in Australia between 1986 and 2006

The table shows how many doctors there were in Australia between 1986 and 2006 while the bar charts compare them by their gender and place of birth during the same period. Overall, there was a discernable increase in the number of medical professionals over the span. It is also clear that male doctors saw their numbers decrease significantly whereas the figure for their female ones increased at the same rate, with the gender gap narrowing down. Although the number of doctors born in Australia was initially considerably higher than their overseas-born counterparts, the figures reached parity in the end.
The number of medical professionals in Australia increased steadily over the years. Starting at 23,720 in 1986, the figure saw a rise of about 5000 for the next decade, before further going up to finish the period with 35,450.
The gender distribution of the clinicians witnessed significant shifts. In 1986, the gender gap was the most marked, with the males standing at about three quarters of all doctors’ share, triple that of females. The gap, however, was less pronounced over the time, as the proportion of men working as a doctor dropped, while the figure for women reversed males’ trend, with respective figure being roughly 60% and 40% in the final year.
Almost the same scenario was observed regarding the birthplaces of them. In 1986, the percentage of doctors who were born in Australia constituted about 62%, considerably more than that of abroad-born ones, at approximately 38%. Following a decade, the figure for the former decreased slightly to 59% while that for the latter saw a minimal increase of 3%. These trends persisted, which resulted in the figures converging with each other, at 50% in 2006.

7.5

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, and there is effective use of linking words.

Suggestions
  • Use more varied linking phrases to enhance flow.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Some phrases are repeated, but overall lexical resource is adequate.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors. Sentences are mostly error-free and varied in structure.

The essay adequately addresses all parts of the task. It summarizes the main points and makes relevant comparisons.

Suggestions
  • Ensure all data points are clearly referenced.
  • Consider adding more specific data from the charts.