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The table below provides information on marriage status and age from 1960 to 2000 in Australia

The table gives data on the total number of religion and civil marriage along with the average age of brides and groombrides in 1960 and 2000 in Australia.
At first glance,it is evident that the number of the religion and civil marriage people increased greatly while average age of brides and bridegroom increased gradually.
Looking at the marriage people 25,000 and 8000, respectively,for civil marriage and religion marriage, before increasing to 28,000 and 12,000 in 1970.It is also clear that 1980 which is the only year that the number of religion people increased dramatically to at peak of 50,000, while the number of marriage people reached 16,000 people gradually. in 1990 the number of religion marriage decreased significantly with reaching to 32,000,which was the opposite pattern for the number of civil marriage because of rising of number to 23,000 gradually, before reaching to peak with 40,000 in 2000 while the number of religion marriage people increased to 34 ,000 with remaining fewer people than civil marriage people.
Regarding the age,the average age was 21 for bride and 24 for bridegroom at the beginning of the period before increasing sharply and peaking at 30 for bride and 32 for bridegroom.

5.0

The essay lacks clear organization and logical progression of ideas. Transitions between points are abrupt, making it difficult to follow the argument.

Suggestions
  • Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
  • Organize information in chronological order.
  • Summarize key trends clearly at the end.

The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety. Some word choices are repetitive and could be more precise.

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including missing articles, incorrect prepositions, and awkward phrasing.

The essay addresses the task but lacks clarity and completeness in presenting and comparing the data. Some key details are missing or incorrectly interpreted.

Suggestions
  • Ensure all data points are accurately represented.
  • Provide a clear summary of the trends.
  • Avoid misinterpretation of the data.