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the table below shows presentage of men and women employed four different industires in 1990,2000, and 2010

The table chart compares proportion of Male and Female who employed across in four different kind of industries in one twon between 1990,2000 and 2010
Overall, percentage of genders employed in Health and Tourism experienced rose varying degrees in contract the figure for Retail/shops and Manufacturing had modest changes in their number with latter having lowest figure recorded
Tourist stood out as the remarkable proportion of employed among the other works in 1990 around at 13% was allocated a then dropped slightly at 10% in 2000 however the figure that rose sharply about 23 in 1990 the next two decades. It increased reached in 27 by 2010
The proportion of workers in Health. It naturally rose substantially. It constituted about 7% then the figure remained changes ,the further rose at 9% the next decades unchanges But it rose slightly at 11 % in 2000 towards end of period the figure that rose slowly about 15% by 2010
The Manufacturing despite the higher figure at 30% in 1990 then dropped gradually dramatically about 15% then it further depped slightly at 10 in 2010 the next two decades it had some fluctuated amoung 6% and 9% and this figure dercreased sharply at 3% in 2010
the retails/shops accounted for 13 % the next two years it remaned changes however dropped slowly at slowly 8% in 2000 the end of period .it was allocated about 9% by2010

4.5

The essay lacks clear organization and logical progression of ideas. There are frequent abrupt transitions and unclear references, making it difficult to follow the argument.

Suggestions
  • Use clear paragraphing to separate different points.
  • Ensure logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
  • Clarify references to data in the table.

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with noticeable repetition and some inappropriate word choices.

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, punctuation mistakes, and sentence fragments.

The essay addresses the task but lacks clear and accurate representation of the data. Some key trends and comparisons are missing or inaccurately described.

Suggestions
  • Provide a clearer overview of the main trends.
  • Ensure accurate representation of data from the table.
  • Include specific data points to support statements.