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The table below shows the employment of students from four countries in the UK after their first courses in 2001.

The table illustrates students job from four nations in the UK following their initial courses in 2001. In general, all 4 countries’ students’ main job were permanent employment. But it can be seen that students are less interested in overseas employment.
In Scotland, the main job was regular employment 43.6%. However, the temporary employment rate is twice as low as the previous job 20.2%. The job that students were least interested in was overseas employment, only 2.6% of students were employed in this job. In England, the difference between permanent employment and temporary employment is not so great, 33% for permanent employment and 23% for temporary work. The overseas job index was 2.3%.
In Wales, there was also a high interest in permanent jobs, with 30% of first-degree graduates employed in such positions. Temporary work had a lower rate at 12.4%. Overseas employment had the lowest result, similar to the other countries, at 2.9%. Northern Ireland had the lowest rates for all types of work overall, with 20% in permanent jobs and 8.6% in temporary jobs. However, Northern Ireland had the highest rate of overseas employment compared to all other countries, at 5%. In terms of total employment, Scotland led with 66.4%, England was second with 58.3%, Wales was third with 45.3%, and Northern Ireland was fourth with 33.6%.

6.5

The essay generally follows a logical structure, but there are some areas where coherence can be improved. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt.

Suggestions
  • Use more linking words to improve flow.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
  • Avoid repetition of similar phrases.

The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks variety. Some words and phrases are repeated.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with some errors.

The essay addresses the task and provides relevant information from the table. However, there could be more analysis and comparison.

Suggestions
  • Include more comparative analysis.
  • Discuss implications of the data.