The table below shows the percentage of men and women employed in four different types of industries in one town in 1990, 2000, and 2010.
The table provides information about the proportion of men and women working in shops and retail, health, manufacturing, and tourism in a town between 1990 and 2010.
Overall, it is clear that the percentage of women employed in tourism was higher throughout the year, while the retail and shop sectors were predominantly dominated by men.Women were more actively employed in each sector compared to men, except in the manufacturing field.
In 1990, most men worked in manufacturing, with 30% employed in this sector. However, this number dropped to 15% in 2000 and 10% in 2010. The percentage of men working in retail and shops remained constant at 13% across all years. In tourism, men accounted for 13% in 1990, but this decreased to 10% in 2000 and stayed the same in 2010. The health sector had the smallest percentage of men, starting at 7% in 1990 and increasing slightly to 9% by 2010.
Tourism was the most popular sector for women, with percentages rising steadily from 23% in 1990 to 25% in 2000 and 27% in 2010. The health sector also grew, with 9% of women working in this field in 1990, 11% in 2000, and 15% in 2010. Retail and shops had fewer women, with 7% in 1990 and increasing slowly to 9% in 2010. Manufacturing was the least common sector for women, with only 7% in 1990, falling to 3% by 2010.
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear overview and logical structure. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
- Avoid abrupt shifts between topics.
The vocabulary is appropriate and varied, though not particularly advanced. Some repetition is present.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors. Sentences are generally well-formed.
The essay addresses all parts of the task effectively, providing a clear overview and detailed information. However, some comparisons could be more explicit.
Suggestions
- Include more direct comparisons between male and female employment in each sector.