The table below shows the percentage of tourists visiting different types of attractions in four countries in 2022.
The chart illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited several types of attractions in four countries: US, Japan, Brazil, France in 2022.
Overall, there were three types of tourist spots such as beaches, museum, parks. US and Brazil showed significant percentages of tourist in all kinds of destinations. As a result, France and Japan had similar result numbers in overall amount.
To begin, the percentages of tourists visit beaches in Brazil was magnificantly higher than other countries by 50%. US, Japan, France were at 30%,25% and 10%, respectively. The most highest proportion of visits in museum
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of collocation. However, there are some inaccuracies and the vocabulary could be more varied.
The essay uses a range of grammatical structures and there is some control of complex sentences. However, there are some errors in the use of articles, prepositions, and verb forms.
The essay provides an overview of the information and makes some comparisons. However, the task is not fully completed as the key features of the data are not identified and described in detail.
Suggestions
- Identify and describe all the key features of the data.
- Make sure to compare and contrast the data where relevant.