the table below shows the proportion of the workforce who are women and the proportion of managers who are women in five countries
The table provides information about the percentage of women in the workforce and the proportion of female managers across five countries.
Overall, Japan has the highest percentage of women in the workforce, while Egypt has the lowest. In terms of female managers, the United States and Australia lead, whereas Sri Lanka has the smallest share.
In Japan, women make up 48% of the workforce, but only 17% of managerial positions. Similarly, the United States has 46% of women in the workforce, with 43% of managers being female. Australia shows similar trends, with 42% of women in the workforce and 43% in management roles.
In contrast, Sri Lanka and Egypt have much lower figures. In Sri Lanka, 41% of workers are women, but just 9% hold managerial roles. Egypt shows the lowest percentages overall, with 20% of the workforce and 12% of managers being female.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The information flows smoothly, and there is effective use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to improve fluency and coherence.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some less common lexical items. However, there is room for improvement in the variety of language used.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and is generally accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be improved.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information and makes appropriate comparisons. The key features are identified and supported with relevant data.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all comparisons are fully developed and supported with specific data.