the table below shows the proportion of the workforce who are women and the proportion of managers who are women in five countries
The table shows the percentage of women in the workforce and the percentage of female managers in five countries.
Overall, Japan has the most women in the workforce, while Egypt has the fewest. For women managers, the United States and Australia have the highest percentages, but Sri Lanka has the lowest.
In Japan, 48% of workers are women, but only 17% of managers are female. The United States has 46% of women in the workforce, and 43% of managers are women. Similarly, in Australia, 42% of the workforce is female, and women managers make up 43%.
On the other hand, Sri Lanka and Egypt have much lower numbers. In Sri Lanka, 41% of the workforce is female, but just 9% of managers are women. Egypt has the lowest percentages, with 20% of the workforce being female and 12% of managers being women.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The information flows smoothly, and there is effective use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices and linking words to make the text more engaging.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures and there are few grammatical errors.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information and makes appropriate comparisons. The key features of the data are identified and described adequately.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all data is accurately represented and clearly described.