The table below shows the proportion of the workplace who are women and the percentage of managers who are women in five different countries.
The table shows the difference between the proportions of females in workplaces as employees and controllers, in five different countries: Australia, Egypt, Sri Lanka, Japan, and the United States.
Overall, in almost all mentioned countries, women who work in the workforce involve less than half of the total female workers, except in Egypt, which trend is more common than the proportion of female managers. A small percentage of women workers are supervisors in Egypt, Sri Lanka, and Japan; which are quite lower than in Australia and the United States.
Focusing on the share of females in the workforce, in Sri Lanka and Australia, the percentages of female supervisors are almost the same at 41% and 42%, respectively. The largest portions of women employees are occupied by the figures for Japan and United States accounting for 46 and 48 percent. In Egypt, every 1 out of 5 women are in the workforce, which is the lowest figure, to compare with females in other countries.
As for the contribution of female managers in workplaces, 43% of total female workers are managers in Australia and the US, which are considered as the largest portions. The reverse is true for women in Japan, Egypt, and Sri Lanka, owning 13 percent in average.
The essay presents information in a logical sequence but lacks clear connections between some ideas.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to connect ideas more clearly.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Avoid abrupt transitions between countries.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary but lacks precision in some areas.
The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures but contains some errors.
The essay addresses the task and summarizes key features but misses some details.
Suggestions
- Include specific percentages for all countries when discussing managers.
- Ensure all comparisons are clear and accurate.