The table shows the employment of students from 4 countries in the UK after thier 1 st courses in 2001.
The table shows the proportion of students who were employed from four different countries after their initial graduate course during 2001. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall, a majority of students in Scotland had employment rates that were higher than in other countries. The indication of employment in remaining countries (England) (Wales) (Northern Ireland) was in a similar fashion.
In Scotland, 43.6% of students worked in permanent jobs, while 20.2% of students were in temporary jobs. In contrast, the relative amount of the employed students in England who worked in permanent occupations was 33%, and 23% of students were in temporary jobs, and 2.3% were in overseas jobs. The percentage of total employment in England was almost near that of Scotland, at 58.3% and 66.4%, respectively.
In Wales, 30% of students occupied permanent positions, and 2.3% of students were employed in overseas lines of work. And also it is clear that 8.6% of students in Northern Ireland were in temporary careers; meanwhile, 20% of employed students were in permanent work. The proportion of total employment in Northern Ireland was nowhere near as high as that of Wales at 33.6% and 45.3%, respectively.
Estimated score: 3,5-5;
The essay lacks clear structure and logical flow. Transitions between ideas are weak, and the organization is not fully coherent.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to improve flow.
- Organize information logically.
- Summarize main points more effectively.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with some repetition. There is a lack of variety in word choice.
The essay shows limited variety in sentence structures and contains some grammatical errors.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detail and clarity in some parts. It does not fully interpret the data accurately.
Suggestions
- Include more data interpretation.
- Ensure all data points are covered.
- Provide a clearer summary.