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The table shows the employment of students from four countries in the UK after their first course in 2001.

The table compares the percentage of first-degree students’ employment in the United Kingdom in 2001, broken down into three different categories – permanent, temporary and overseas employment. It also illustrates total employment figures for each country in the UK, such as Scotland, England, Wales, and Northern Ireland.
Overall, the majority of first-degree graduates from all four countries had permanent work, closely followed by those who were working for a temporary period. As for individual countries, Scotland recorded the highest proportion of employed graduates, while the lowest employment figures can be observed in Northern Ireland except for overseas employment.
Turning to the details, Scotland, with 43.6% of its first-degree graduates working at a permanent job, led the competition. This figure was considerably higher than that for temporary employment (20.2%) and by far surpassing 2.6% of the graduates with overseas employment, which all resulted in a significant 66.4% of total employment rates. Even though England slightly lagged behind in terms of permanent employment proportions (33%), its temporary employment levels made up for it by recording the highest percentage of 23% across all given countries. Overseas employment, on the other hand, accounted for only 2.3% of the graduates, bringing the total percentage to 58.3%.
Conversely, overseas employment rates were comparatively higher in the remaining two countries, namely Wales and Northern Ireland. While the proportions of graduates employed permanently and temporarily in the former country accounted for respective figures of 30% and 12.4%, the number for those working overseas exhibited a notable percentage of 2.9%, and the total employment rate comprised of 45.3%. Similarly, permanent and temporary employment levels in Northern Ireland stood at 20% and 8.6%, respectively, but overseas employment was at a staggering 5%, resulting in a total employment figure of 33.6%.

7.5

The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. The use of linking words is appropriate and helps in maintaining the flow.

Suggestions
  • Consider adding more linking phrases to enhance coherence.
  • Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea for clarity.
  • Use concluding sentences to summarize key points in each section.

The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with some attempts at using less common lexical items. However, there are occasional repetitions.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with accurate use of complex sentences. Minor errors do not impede communication.

The essay effectively addresses the task, summarizing and comparing the main features of the data. It provides a clear overview and relevant details.

Suggestions
  • Include more specific data comparisons to enhance detail.
  • Ensure all relevant data from the table is covered.
  • Avoid unnecessary repetition of information.